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i don't even know what to title this, it's a lot of stuff

so, it all started when this new girl started at my school. i’ve been best friends with this other girl – we’ll call her olive – for over ten years now. we’ve practically grown up at each others houses. but this new girl – let’s call her summer – became really close friends with olive over the past year. they had all their classes together last year and olive and i had none. besides from feeling incredibly left out whenever the reference an inside joke or something that happened when i wasn’t there, olive is starting to choose summer over me. sometimes friends grow apart, especially after middle school, but we’re still incredibly close. but i’m always the friend that has to walk behind the other two when the path is too narrow. luckily i’m still friends with both of them enough that i don’t have to be the one always making plans just to make sure i’m there, but i feel like one day that might happen. since summer is in my class this year, as well as olive, i’ve got to know her a lot better – for example, we’re both extremely obsessed with musicals (particularly heathers) and when one of us is having a mental breakdown for whatever reason she’s the first person i call and i’m the first person she calls. she’s the only friend i’ve ever had that deals with depression and anxiety. when i can’t talk to someone, she’s my acting therapist and i’m hers. sometimes at school she says ‘i have to sit next to luci!’ because she wants to talk about riverdale fanfiction or heathers or something like that, and nothing makes me happier (just a side note here, i constantly need validation from the people i love or my brain makes me feel worthless…something i’m dealing with, not to worry). but then she chooses olive and completely disregards me. for example, we’re all in the debate team and school newspaper. when we went around the school to hand out the term’s issue, olive and summer quoted betty and veronica and said “betty and i come as a matching set. you want one, you take us both.” at this point, it’s less about summer and more about olive. i just felt incredibly left out and abandoned by my two best friends. at a debating meeting, when we were deciding the teams, they both forgot to write my name down on the sheet because i couldn’t make it to the meeting, even when i asked them two way before the meeting, and even reminded them before the meeting. i had to send a frantic and apologetic email to my debate captain asking to sign me up last minute. even in class, whenever we have to get into pairs, they always choose each other. i’m always both of their second choices. i only get picked when the other one’s not around. and another thing – summer is thinking of leaving our school. she says it’s because the only reason she came here was because of her best friend at the time, who she barely talks to anymore. now she says the only thing keeping her there is olive…not olive AND me. the thing is, i actually really like summer. like, in more than a friend way. not only do i not know how to deal with that, i’m now dealing with all this. i feel like i can’t bring it up with either of them, because it seems they’re so oblivious to my feelings.i don’t like being the jealous type that gets possessive over friends i haven’t even known for that long, but it’s certainly the way things are working out. furthermore, if summer leaves the school, olive says she will too because she says she has no friends here. that really stung. not only does she have me, she also has the entire class that is basically in love with her. i reminded her about me and she just said “oh, yeah, i guess. but that’s not enough.” at this point, i felt like running into the bathroom and crying, but i just kept my composure and smiled. summer looked at me empathetically – at least she know’s that olive was being a bit inconsiderate. if all of my friends are gone, what will i do? i talked to my parents about possibly going to a new school, but he just said that i’ll always make new friends and i do actually have good friends. he’s both right and wrong – i will make new friends over the years, but it’s unlikely they’ll be as passionate about things as i am. i feel like it would be so much easier just to reinvent myself at a new school with new friends. this one school i’m looking at has an award winning arts program, something i’m really interested in. being on broadway is the biggest dream of mine, and always has been. but that’s besides the point. what should i do? i don’t even know if my friends are staying at this school, but if they leave, should i go to the other school or stay at the one i’m at now? keep in mind they are both private schools with incredible opportunities – NASA trips, independent living programs, music tours overseas, etc. we’re also moving and both schools are within walking distance of the new house. i’m helplessly lost – what should i do? anyway, thanks for reading this incredibly long rant.
xx l

  • Posted by forget2187

    hey friends can suck sometimes. i think that if it feels like a big effort to stay friends with them its probably not worth it. you shouldn’t have to force yourself onto someone for them to get along with and genuinely like you. Obviously a bit of effort is important but it shouldn’t only be you putting in. The thing that olive said about having no friends if summer moved is shitty but if thats really how she feels then maybe it’s time to move on. Hopefully this helped. I’m also having a bit of trouble with my friends so i get it.

  • Posted by gabby923

    aw u poor thing that is real shit

  • Posted by Charlie INkster

    The exact same thing happened to me. I feel for u. My absolute best friend that I have known forever wasn’t in my class one year and became super close to this other girl while I just spent the year missing her when she had moved on. Then the next year it was like she had forgotten me even though we were back in the same class. I became the little puppy dog trailing behind these two best friends. I was always left out of stuff and I felt like shit about it. In the end, I had this huge big talk with my original friend and then we grew close again and she told me things she would never tell this other girl but she still stayed friends with the other girl. Then we all moved schools together but I made friends with two other girls and I floated between groups. Then the girl that stole my BFF from me turns out to have known one of my new friends and she joins our group. My new friends didn’t know that I already knew her. Then she and I got close when my original friend got a boyfriend and started pretending that we didn’t exist. I was still friends with her though and then my new friends started going behind her back and saying mean things so I told her but then all the other girls hated me. Then the original friend broke up with her bf and all the other girls came back to her but they still hate me!

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