Sealed
back to forum
Insecurities

So, I’m like always worried about people judging me. I’ve had a hard time growing us as a late bloomer and the hate is still with me. I keep comparing myself to every other girl I see. I question guys who say they like me, because I don’t see why anyone would want to be with me. Even the guy I really like. He liked me back but my insecurities made me think I was imagining it even after we talked and he said he didn’t care about those things. He’s a great guy, a I-like-you-for-you guy. I don’t like most things about my body sometimes, I think I hate it. Saying my physical appearance doesn’t matter, it’s the inside that matters won’t help. I’ve been told that. I don’t know what to do 🙁

Replies
  • Posted by Gemmah@Libra

    Oh sister, I hear ya!

    We all have insecurities & things that we’re just not happy with. Trust me when I say, every girl & boy experiences it. Whether it’s a body part that we don’t like, or something specific on our face that we think is to big or too small, or even something about our personality that we don’t love! Often it’s hard to accept that someone loves us for us, when we don’t love ourselves. It’s a bit of a vicious cycle, isn’t it?!

    Whilst it may feel like we’ll never be able to build up our self esteem or start to like things that we don’t, there are actually some things that we can do to do help!

    My recommendation would be;
    – Using positive affirmations everyday – this means saying things to yourself in the mirror that will build you up! This can be something as simple as saying “I’m going to have a great day today”, or “my boyfriend loves me for me!”, or “I’m healthy & grateful for XYZ”.

    – Setting yourself simple tasks, that you can celebrate when you achieve it! It’s SO good for your self esteem to take pride in something you have done, which could be an easy as getting out of bed!

    – Get active & fill your body with nutrients – Exercise and taking care of your body does WONDERS for your mind, and this will really help you feel better about yourself. Exercise releases endorphins naturally, and its amazing how amazing you feel after a work out! This is my absolute non negotiable. When I haven’t been exercising or eating well, I feel sluggish, and unhappy!

    – Learn to accept compliments or worth from others – while this can be a little tricky at first, particularly when we really don’t believe it, something that helps is by actually PRACTISING to accept them. This means, you can prepare responses and make it more of a process or routine. Replying with a simple thank you (and repeating it) can really help you start to believe those compliments and resist the impulse to deny them.

    I hope this helps you put some practical advice in place! However, I totally understand how you feel. If you often feel sad & lack energy, or just constantly feel like you’re not happy with yourself, talking to your family or a professional can really help. There are so many amazing organisations, like Lifeline (13 11 14) & Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636), that want to help you. When you want to talk, there is always someone who wants to listen.

    XX

  • Posted by carebear64

    Hey there,

    I totally understand! Insecurities SUCK and I have definitely hated my body before. I even still struggle with constantly comparing myself to my two gorgeous older sisters. But over the past two years I have learned to love my body a little bit more. Here are some tips:

    1. Some days will be worse than others. I know this from experience. On the days that you feel really unconfident, just don’t look in the mirror! I found that on days I felt especially unhappy with myself, I could spend hours staring at myself in the mirror and making myself even more miserable. Once I learned not to do that, those bad days got way better.
    2. Here’s something that made me feel 10000x better about my straight body type: do you ever look at magazines and compare yourself to gorgeous models? Guess what? Almost all models are either rectangle or triangle (broad shoulders, tiny hips) body shapes! That’s right, you have the same body type as those runway models.
    3. Focus on other parts of your appearance. You may not be able to control your body shape, but you can control other things about your appearance: Your hairstyle, clothing, shoes, makeup (or lack thereof), etc. If you feel confident about those things, you’ll feel better about yourself in general.
    4. Keep clean! I know, everyone showers everyday. But I want you to take it a step further. Buy fancy shampoo, conditioner, and hair products that make your hair amazingly silky smooth and shiny. Buy nourishing body wash and body scrub that make your skin soft and supple. Invest in new facial moisturizers, washes, or masks. Get yourself a good bikini trimmer (if you feel more attractive with a shaved bikini area — your choice). Get a new perfume that you wear daily. All of these little things that pamper yourself and keep you really clean and smelling amazing will boost your confidence tenfold, trust me.
    5. Keep reminding yourself that your body will get there eventually. I know, I know. IT’S SO ANNOYING WHEN PEOPLE TELL YOU THAT!!!! It just makes you feel worse. Butttt I really want you to remember that. Every time I looked/look in the mirror and feel/felt extremely unhappy, I would try to shake it off and think to myself, ‘just a few more years, and it won’t be like this anymore.’

    I hope all of this helps! Just keep at it, I promise it will get better!

    Good Luck to you.

    xoxo, carebear64

  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.