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I am so sorry I know this is really long and you don’t have to read it if you don’t want to but I really need some advice and help I am mentally struggling at the moment I don’t know what to do anymore. A lot has changed ove the past year, my friends have started going to parties and drinking and all that and I am not comfortable with that stuff because I am more into having fun by playing sport or going swimming in a creek or something. I don’t know what to do anymore because I suffer from social anxiety which obviously stops me from being able to go to parties. At the end of last year all my friends convinced me to go to a party and they promised they would help me and not ditch me because it was a party with 200 people going. Right from when I got there they all ditched me and I was left by myself and I started having a panic attack. Not one of my friends were there for me to comfort me, a girl that I barely knew was the only one who comforted me and stayed with me until I left. I haven’t been back to a party since because i have decided that they aren’t my type of fun. But the problem is that all my friends come back to school after a weekend and just talk about the party and all the boys they hooked up with and to be honest I am so tired of it because I can’t have a normal conversation with any of them anymore. I have become really lonely and I feel extremely isolated and I don’t know what to do anymore. I cry myself to sleep every night because I feel like no one cares about me and I feel like I m always the backup person that they know will always be there if they need someone to turn to. I listen to everyone’s problems but no one actually takes the time to ask me how I am. I am so over it. I don’t even know how to put all this into words because 1. I haven’t had anyone to talk to about any of this for so long (3 years) and so I don’t even know where to start anymore because there is so much that I need to get off my chest and 2. I don’t even know anymore what makes me cry and makes me feel the way I am feeling. I feel as though I am at the bottom of a deep hole and don’t know how to climb out. I am really scared I have depression. Does anyone have any advice? Or is anyone prepared to just listen while I get everything off my chest? Thanks in advance guys 🙂
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