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Real friends? Please read this, although this is really long!

So, in grade 4, I met these 2 girls. I came to that school at the end of grade 3 so I didn’t really knew much people. The 2 girls were already great friends as they met last year but I wanted to join their small ‘group’. They seemed really nice. I might sound like I wanted to intrude their little group but I just wanted to make friends. I was really shy. But during the first few weeks of the year, I would just be hanging alone, And I could see those 2 girls. Then I started to ask if I could play with them. And I did. I had fun. Although when we were to partner up in class, the 2 girls would be each other’s first choice. But at the end of the year, there was a chance that we might be split up the next year. I was really nervous about that. I told one of the girls at the last day of the year, “if we’re in different classes next year, can we still hang out together?” She replied she didn’t know. I felt really sad. But next year, we were still in the same class! And the same to that next year. It was 2019, and I’m Grade 6. 12 years old. I still hang out with the 2 girls but in recess and in class, they would always talk to each other, not me. In recess, they would talk to each other, side by side, and I would be the 1 trailing behind. 1 of the girls, she really prefers just talking to her Best Friend. I don’t think they would even cared if I was away. A few days ago, there was a hockey game for a day in school (it haven’t happened yet), and you could sign up to be in the team. I already signed up to 2 other games with my 2 ‘friends’ and I also just didn’t want to play Hockey. Our sport teacher said if the team wasn’t filled, he would take Grade 5s. Then, my friends told me that they wanted to me join (I was happy for a Sec) because, so they didn’t had to play Hockey with Grade 5s. And that was their only reason they wanted me to play. I was hurt. But sometimes in class, when there’s a bit of free time, I would go talk with the other girls in my class. I really enjoyed their company, we would joke together, but we weren’t close, or best friends, we were just friends. Sometimes I wonder if I should tell my 2 friends that I’m going hang out with the other girls in my class in recess. I’m not sure what their reaction would be, but I really didn’t want them to be mad at me. I was just scared that when I sit in class, they would glare at me. I just don’t wanna make enemies.
I’m really sorry for this long rant, but I’m unsure. Well, thanks to whoever who’s listening to this, I really appreciate it. I just feel it’s more complicated then telling them, “I don’t want to be friends with you 2 anymore.”

  • Posted by Michelle

    *when I said I signed to 2 games, I mean in the Term 1 and the early Term 2.

  • Posted by stargazer 1

    hey x

    oh your 2 “friends” dont sound very nice at all :(. it sounds like they are controlling you, i would get out of that friendship as soon as possible if they arent making you happy. surround yourself with people who make you happy, laugh and most importantly trust. do whats best for you, dont worry about the other 2 girls. if i was you maybe sit with other people at recess and lunch, as there is nothing wrong with making other friendships, and your 2 other “friends” cannot be angry at you for that. if they were true friends they would want the best for you and support you.

    sorry i hope this helped a little bit, good luck xxxxxx

  • Posted by Gemmah@Libra

    Hey Michelle, Oh no that doesn’t sound like a very nice situation. Stargazer 1 is totally right. You need to be surrounding yourself with people who support and love you for you. Perhaps you should try speaking to your two friends about how you feel, this may seem super daunting, but at least then you have shared your feelings off your chest. They may be totally unaware of how they are treating you. If they take your feelings & thoughts the right way, then that is great and hopefully you can all move on, and you can feel more supported and comfortable with your 2 friends. If they do not take your feelings & thoughts well, then I would totally suggest hanging out with other girls. Girls that will make you laugh and that will include you. In the long run this will be much better for you & your happiness. It may seem hard; but it is totally normal to want to hang out with people that make you feel loved and happy; your 2 friends will understand (even if they don’t at first).
    Go with your heart & your gut, if the other girls from your class are treating you better & make you feel happier, then hang out with them.
    Don’t stress too much, you sound like a lovely girl & you are doing all the right things.

  • Posted by Michelle

    Thanks for the advice 🙂

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