Ask Gemmah

Guy Advice Needed

Hi Gemmah,

I need some guy advice and a non-biased opinion!

Basically I’ve known this boy for six years and we’ve been close best friends for two years. We’ve got closer and closer over that time, and we’re always really blunt with each other. We went to different schools this time one year ago now and we’ve only met up once since we left school, but our friendship has actually got closer over that time and we’re now closer than we’ve ever been before. When we were at school and were in a friend group that just recently ended, we were always massively shipped and they had loads of ship names and stuff but it always made both of us really cross because everyone ALWAYS went on about it.

And then I had my first boyfriend in the autumn for a couple of months, and my guy best friend always massively took the mick out of him to his face as well. He wouldn’t talk to me about him at all, and still won’t now even though we broke up six months ago. It always felt like a really awkward topic of conversation with him.

He’s sometimes asked my opinion on girls he finds attractive and asks me what I think, but I say he has a really superficial type, (loads of make up and bleached hair etc.), but I’ve stopped telling him this now because for some reason it really really offends him. A couple of months ago, when this last offended him, he spent ages trying to convince me that he doesn’t have a superficial type, and then told me that later he would tell me exactly what his type is. Most of these qualities matched me.

And we always talk about our feelings a lot and tell each other that we mean a lot to each other and things like that. If he irritates me then he always gets me to explain exactly what it was that offended me so he can apologise and understand properly and then feels really really bad. If I don’t message him then he messages me every couple of days asking me if I’m alright and then we always have a nice extensive conversation.

He says he’ll take me places when he gets a car if he’s involved with where I’m going and if I do the same for him sometimes too when I get a car. He’s incredibly protective of me, etc. etc.

He’s just turned 17 and I’m 17 in a couple of weeks – we’re both finishing Year 13 this time next year.

I HAVE NO CLUE IF THERE IS A VIBE. He is an incredibly straightforward person as well, but we’ve never talked about people shipping us AT ALL, we just shout at people to shut up when they mention it. I don’t know why people joking about it seems to really trigger him. Oh and he always asks me to watch the TV programmes he watches and then bugs me a lot about watching the episodes and what I thought of each character etc.

But anyway, sorry I ranted a bit, I’ve never been able to talk to anyone about this because I just have no clue if we feel like we’re more than friends or not. Thoughts?? Next steps?? How can I tell if he likes me – are there any subtle tests I can do??

Thank you so much!!

Gemmah Says

Hey girl,

It sounds like there is a definite vibe!

It’s great that you’re so close and clearly you have a connection, one that your friend group has picked up on! His defensiveness over your ship names could be a result of him not knowing how you feel about him. Uncertainly, can make us overcompensate a little because we want to protect ourselves. It also sounds like he was jealous of your first boyfriend!

The way he wants to prove to you that he doesn’t have a superficial type, could be his way of letting you know that he likes you. He even described his type which matches you! The way he checks up on you and wants to understand how you’re feeling when he irritates you, shows he really cares.

Maybe you could try asking a mutual friend to scope out how he feels? The most effective way to find out if he likes you, is to just ask him. It can be scary putting yourself out there, but you won’t know what could be unless you try. By the sounds of it, he feels the same as you do. Good luck!