I just want to share this with someone..

Oct 26, 2018

Hey I just want someone to tell me how they see what I've been experiencing in their perspective. And maybe an advice on what I should do or how I should continue... basically like a diary that replies I guess Here it goes... It's the start of summer vacation here for me and I only have 1 more week to see this guy I like and do something about my feelings until next school year.. Through out the year he's given me stuff to overthink. I first noticed him because of his beautiful singing voice. He would look at me from across the room, hang out with my friends and initiate study sessions with me. He would say sorry shyly when he thinks he's not doing his best in our group projects and thank me for all my efforts. He's made a few comments about wanting to stay longer or sleeping over at my house just 'cause he didnt have anything else to do. Freeing his schedule just to come hang with me and my guy friends. Giving heart reactions on my social media updates. And I want to believe that he likes me but I'm scared that I only keep seeing this actions because I want to think that he likes me. He was fairly popular with girls (and gays) at school, and he told me it annoyed him. He didn't like it when they confessed. He wanted to be the one to confess to someone he liked. And that made me scared to tell MY feelings. I want to stop liking him tbh. But that wasn't gonna happen until I hear a rejection from him. But at the same time I didn't want to lose the little things we did that probably meant more to me than him. I'm turning 18 in May and I invited him along with a few of my friends. I hope I clear this stuff out before that time. I want to be able to look at him in the eye without looking like I'm always hiding something. He treats me a little bit differently too. To other girls he doesn't seem to care much how he acted but to me it was always awkward at first and we can barely hold eye contact unless no one else was around. He's a nice person too, which is probably why he's nice to me. But that's how I see it... I want to know what other people think about this. I'm not planning on confessing after he opened up to me about the subject anyways... I just want to understand his actions. Thank you!!